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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?